A network security breach at the North Pole has left Santa exposed — literally. Retaliatory action against a certain Asian dictator is not planned at this time. “There is not enough coal on planet Earth,” said the Jolly Old Elf. With the chief of Santa’s IT Security, #blinky@blinky, and KCAW’s Robert Woolsey.
The North Pole apparently provoked North Korean leader Kim Jong-un by announcing plans to deliver Christmas gifts to Seth Rogen and James Franco, two of the stars of the film The Interview. Santa also said he had goodies in his back for the leadership team of Sony Pictures, which delayed the release of the controversial project after hackers compromised the studio’s internal files. Asked whether he risked disrupting Christmas by taking a position on the matter, Santa said, “Just think of the children, and not of me in a thong.”